Still in limbo

If miraculously everything turns out alright with the acrobat in spite of all the bleeding, I'm five weeks pregnant today. 5w, 21dpo or 16dp5dt if I've got the whole counting system correct. I'm going to write down everything about the bleeding and all my symptoms because I've been desperately googling for more information during all this and maybe this post will eventually help someone in a future similar situation. Those of you who are faint hearted should probably stop reading here.

 

Oct 7 - Start stims day two of natural cycle

Oct 20 - Egg retrieval and TESA, 8 mature eggs retrieved, 5 successfully fertilized with ICSI - start vaginal progesterone suppositories - boobies start getting sore almost instantly

Oct 25 - Embryo transfer, 1 blastocyst transferred, 3 blastocysts frozen

Oct 26 - An hour flight from Sweden to England

Oct 27 - A pulling, tugging sensation in the baby department all day off and on

Oct 28 - First nose bleed ever and start falling asleep on the couch by 8 pm

Oct 30 - Light brown spotting after walk

Oct 31- Nov 1 - Spotting continues and gets a little heavier

Nov 1 - Get disgusted by crayfish that I normally LOVE

Nov 2 - Spotting starts to look like a light period, this is the day my period would have arrived in normal cycle (full moon)

Nov 3 - 4 - Bleeding increases and turns redder

Nov 5 - BFP!?!?! Red bleeding continues to increase

Nov 6 - 7 - Bleeding gets BRIGHT red and I pass small stringy clots. Start to get attacks of nausea and/or hunger 

Nov 8 - Find an old HPT in a drawer and take the test at night after drinking lots of water and peeing like a race horse... Get this:

Change insertion of progesterone suppositories from vaginal to anal in hopes to stop the bleeding, thinking they're irritating my cervix.

Nov 9 - Worst day of bleeding yet, like a full on period in a crimson red color. Go see doctor to take Beta HCG test.

Nov 10 - Bleeding seems to slow down, pass a few clots the size of a quarter (common during my regular period). I've felt nauseous all day, had hunger attacks and boobies are still sore. I've have had NO pain what so ever and that's weird... I normally have light-moderate period pains since they removed the polyp in February, before that severe pain... so you'd think if this was a miscarriage I'd be in pain... but what do I know.

I'm waiting to get the results from my Beta. I've called a gazillion times already and pestered them but each time they tell me the results aren't in yet and to call back in two hours. Now the damned clinic is closed for the day! SIGH! 

I'm slowly going crazy here and I really need to know what's going on with my body. If it is a miscarriage I need to have it confirmed so I can grieve and move on. If the numbers are within range (135-1690 mIU/ml for 20dpo)... well... I guess... I can worry a little longer... and keep wishing, hoping, praying that the numbers double for next tests, the acrobat hangs on tight, I stop bleeding and that this will all have a happy ending.