Today has been a day filled with whirlwind emotions. How are you supposed to feel when you find out that you're not having your period but are in fact pregnant after years of trying, but that you might be having a miscarriage at this very moment?
After getting the unexpected plus this morning I called Nurse Inga who was happy to hear about the pregnancy but concerned about the bleeding. She asked a bunch of questions and I answered by giving her dates, PMS-colors, pad sizes and pain status. She told me there was nothing I could do right now other than hang tight and see what happens. It could be a miscarriage but it could just as well be nothing to worry about. If I'm still bleeding next week she asked me to go to my GP and ask to have an HCG blood test and call with the result. If the bleeding stops I should schedule an ultrasound for Nov 26th. She then asked me if I had gotten the paperwork about the frosties. - Frosty, I said, we only had one, and no we haven't gotten it. -Actually, she said, the two slow ones caught up and you ended up with three nice blastocysts for the freezer.
So, I can be happy about the fact that I'm pregnant and that I have three beautiful snow babies in the freezer or I can be devastated that I might be having a miscarriage. Or I can be both. It's like skipping around next to a ravine. Like singing a happy tune in room full of tigers. Like being barefoot and pregnant on a kitchen floor full of glass shards.
On the day I got my positive beta this summer, I also got the news that I had an abnormal breast biopsy. Actually I got the biopsy news about an hour before the BFP news, so I was already in a very scared fog. Top it off with my own spotting from weeks 4-8 and I totally know how you're feeling, girlie. It stinks that you can't just blissfully enjoy being pg, but it seems to be us IF girls lots in life to do things the hard way.
ReplyDeleteStay calm, take care of yourself, no lifting heavy stuff. Though if this baby is going to stick, he'll stick pretty much no matter what you do. And that was a nice, dark + on the HPT this morning, makes me think he's a fighter. Sending you tons of P&PTs.
p.s. If I were you, I'd call and schedule the beta with your GP either way. Even if the spotting stops, get yourself some extra peace of mind. In the US, we get betas like crazy after IVF, usually 3-4 before being released to the OB. I think I'd go nuts without that extra info.
Oh honey I don't know what to say. Your analogies are perfect for right now. I hate that your in the middle of this guessing game but you do have 3 more little ones waiting for you!! That is awesome!! I will keep praying and thinking of you as you go though all this. Good luck and I'm sending you LOTS of hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats!! Revel in beign pregnant right now, I know it's very scary to experience bleeding. Congrats on the three frosties!! I hope the bleeding is just IVF pregnancy related bleeding. Try to relax and take good care of yourself and the little acrobat!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kerri, revel in being pregnant right now....sleep, eat, lay, talk, hope. We will all be praying for you!!
ReplyDeleteI hope it sticks. I hope all the bleeding goes away. It's so hard to just sit and wait isn't it. *fingers crossed*
ReplyDeleteOut of 5 retrieved, you have 1 snuggling in and 3 blasts in the freezer??? That is amazing!!!!
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I would go get a beta now, that will give you some insight into if this is a strong one or one that is barely hanging on.
Looking forward to reading some more good news!
((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteWhat a tough, tough day :( I'm still praying that everything will be okay. Yay for snow babies!
I hurried home today to read your update. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Know that I am hanging out on the happy side for you.
ReplyDeletehey there princess, be happy! go get a beta if you can, at least you can see numbers now and then get one two days later, it will give you piece of mind to see that they are going up like I think they will. you are pregnant now, and that little acrobat will hang in there. xoxoxoxo yeah for 3 blasties too, so awesome!
ReplyDeleteyay for 3 snow babies! i know it must be so hard, but try to keep positive thoughts. i've read about SO many pregnancy success stories that started with a lot of bleeding. thinking of you. stick acrobat, stick!
ReplyDeleteI'm still thinking of you! I am praying that the bleeding slows down and your stress level goes down too. I swear there is not one single step of this that is "easy." Great news about the two others that were frozen. Those are fantastic numbers! Take care!
ReplyDeleteSending thoughts your way... It's so very hard to wait, but know that you've got lots of folks waiting with you and supporting you.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your snow babies.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jill M. Go & get a beat now, so you know what you're dealing with. Fingers crossed it's good news.
That is fantastic news about your totsicles. Three is a really great number to have on ice, in the event that this pregnancy doesn't continue (though I have every hope and faith that it will!).
ReplyDeleteI think you pegged it: Skipping by the edge of a ravine, happy in spite of recognizing the danger. I think that's what early pregnancy has been like for me-- I have no idea what baby B looks like right now, but I'm thrilled and pretending to be pregnant with twins nonetheless. Baby B could have never developed beyond the gestational sac, and I wouldn't know the difference, but for now, I'm still acting like there's two in there. Why not? I may feel foolish later on, but for now, I'm trying to keep on singing in spite of the tiger in the room. I hope you can keep that feeling for now...
Hang on acrobat! Great news about the little fighters who caught up!
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