Out of more than 200 friends, not a single person commented on my link to Keiko's video on facebook yesterday.
Not.
a.
single.
comment.
A lot of my friends and family know what we've been going through this past year but to most it would be news. I'm a little sad and somewhat surprised. Even made sure again today that the link actually works. It does. So I guess my big "outing" went by unnoticed. Not sure what I expected. I didn't think it would make headline news or anything, but I was expecting some sort of reaction.
I can only hope it touched somebody that just didn't know what to say but felt a little less alone.
It made me feel quite the opposite. Ouch.
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Sorry pet, and I know it took a lot of courage to post it. I'm sure someone has been touched. Love, Fran
ReplyDeleteI can relate. While I am not "out" to very many people, I am out to my sister and she has yet to acknowledge any of it. Even my miscarriage. I feel like I am a different person now and to have her completely ignore that is very painful. My blog is my saving grace. Just know that we are here for you.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
I know the feeling, I got one comment and two people who "like the video". More people comment on when somebody asks what they should eat for lunch. I think IF makes people highly uncomfortable. Very sad. I think we need to keep trying, the word will get out eventually.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I admire your bravery. I could not imagine myself posting that amazing video on my FB page.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, nothing? Really? What the hell? Do you think people don't know how to react or didn't see it? Do you think the friends who are affected by IF are too shy? (I know they are there)If I think about my FB "friends" I don't know who would comment, I can't really think about it too much because it scares me.
Regardless, we are here for you, we support you, and we recognize the face of IF.
I think it's more that people really don't know what to say. People who have been through/are in the midst of IF know what the video is talking about, those who haven't just don't. Really, IF is like loosing a close loved one- most people want to support you but have absolutely no idea how, unless they've been there, in which case they know that there's nothing they can do that's going to make it better.
ReplyDeleteI agree with cgd: people just don't know what to say. I imagine that many of them took a peek at the video, and I would wager that someone out there was indeed touched by it. It's the same with any kind of grief or loss--most people really duck away from it, which is such a diservice...'cause it touches us all eventually.
ReplyDeleteI stand by what I said yesterday: I commend of you for putting it out there.
I agree that it took a ton of guts to post it, guts that I don't have. I am pretty sure most people (unlike us) don't think about what it takes to get pregnant. And they view the process as "natural". So, when faced with different facts...well, for them it could have been awkward. I am so sorry. I thought the video was amazing, I had tears running down my cheeks by the end of it. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
ReplyDeleteI did the exact same thing. I posted the same video yesterday. Then I checked and checked....and nobody said anything.
ReplyDeleteI thought maybe I should have posted it at night instead of morning and maybe more people would have seen it?
Basically, it just went ignored. I was disappointed. It's an amazing video that made me cry. How could nobody have a reaction??
I am guessing most didn't take the time to look at it.
It's a bummer. Be proud of yourself for putting it up!
I think cgd is right - IF makes people uncomfortable. Maybe it's the uncertainty of it all, and not knowing how to respond to that. I think people prefer to have it swept under the rug. Anyway, I think just you putting it out there raises awareness, even without anyone directly acknowledging it. But I understand your disappointment, too - it would have been nice for your FB friends to step up and support you.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Princess that you feel so alone. Makes me think I'm not missing anything by not having/knowing Facebook.
ReplyDeleteI watched the video and had tears running down my face, sorry for not commenting earlier...
I think it was very brave to post the link, and I'm sorry none of your FB friends acknowledged it (and frankly, that's what keeps me from posting).
ReplyDeleteI hope you are doing well, and that this doesn't stop you from reaching out to those you need to get their support. And you always have us.
I'm very impressed you posted the video. I don't have that courage, so you should feel very proud of yourself for doing this. And just putting it out there is doing your part - some people saw that, and at least thought about it for a bit, even if they didn't respond. And that was exactly what you wanted to do - cause people to think.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry people didn't respond though. I agree with previous posters - most people don't know what to say. But it's still no excuse!
That's awful. I posted the video today on FB. I got a few comments in my IF status. Most people assume we have IF issues since we have been married for quite some time.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't the "no comments" make you even more thankful for this community you can come to!
You are so brave!! I'm SOOOOO Glad you posted it on your blog though. I'm too chicken to come "out" in real life like in facebook. There are just too many things I'm not ready to deal with once I'm "out." But Princess you are my hero!! I actually e-mailed the link to my one friend I can share all this with. And she called me in tears. Saying she had never realized this was how I felt or what I was going though. So there is one comment that I will send on to you from her. Because you shared this! You have touched so many people hearts by posting it here. Thank you!! And I think I have to agree that some people are to uncomfortable about the whole IF. That might be why they won't comment. But honey we love you!!! Sending you hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteScrew all your facebook friends (sorry but I mean it, ok maybe not all, like if they're family or something) You know we are ALL ALWAYS here for you. You will never be alone and do not forget that ever my dear friend. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteJust because people didn't comment doesn't mean they didn't play the video or take note of it. Just check the website itself. As of this morning it had 3194 views and 5 comments (including one from the creator of it). Just by posting the link you have raised awareness of IF and of your own circumstances.
ReplyDeleteHoney, I think people are just afraid to ask - and how to ask!
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you for puttin git up =) I am out on FB, put up the video and same thing-not a single damn comment.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that happened. I'm constantly surprised at the things that attract comment and the things that don't - half my family have totally ignored the two e-mails I've sent to them telling them I'm being made redundant, so it's not just IF that gets ignored. People just seem to be uncomfortable with bad news and don't know how to handle it, or what to say. I'm sure some of them have watched it, though, and even if they say nothing, perhaps it'll make them understand a bit better x
ReplyDeleteNo one commented on mine either, it made me sad :(
ReplyDeleteafter all the time I spend commenting on their family photos!!
Sweets, you are absolutely brave-o-rama for posting this on FB, I just watched the video myself with JourneyMan and had a big cry.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I think that people are uncomfortable because there is still a stigma around IF - you have made a wonderful step of dissipating that stigma - hopefully, if we all make tiny steps, it will eventually be a comfortable topic to talk about.
Stuff your friends on FB, bathe in the friendship and understanding that comes from the wonderful IF community online.
I'm so grateful I have all of you lovely ladies to put things in perspective. Huge hearts coming your way!
ReplyDeleteSometimes, people just don't know what to say...so they say nothing. I'm sorry you did not get more support or positive feedback. I guess it is possible that some people saw the What If, didn't get it, and never clicked on the link. - Tkeys
ReplyDelete