Monday, 19 April 2010

Doing our homework

One of the things I appreciate about you is:
Diver Dude:
- You are so creative. You make even a small weekday dinner a special occasion just by making the table and lighting candles. (yup, I have skills)
-  The way you're always honest, supportive and loyal. I truly feel like you're my best friend. (seriously, that's the sweetest things ever)
Me:
- You sing along out loud (and out of tune) to songs you love. Even in a crowded bar. Or a public library.
- How you deal with Mother and your siblings and how you make sure you stay in each others lives in spite of having had a far from perfect childhood and complicated relationships.

What I'd like a little more of is:
DD:
- Physical activity. Doing something together. Like playing golf. (or taking dance lessons?)
- Head. (seriously?)
Me:
- Compliments.
- Team work (this was after we had spent 3 hours building flower boxes and him constantly needing whatever tool I was currently using. Le sigh.)

What I'd like a little less of is:
DD:
- Clothes in other places than the closet. (do door knobs, floor surface or chairs count as closets?)
Me:
- No's when I suggest something. Like dinner and a movie. (and having a baby!!)

What I'd like to stay the same is:
DD: 
- Our sex life! (didn't he just say he wanted more oral pleasure?)
- That you close the toilet lid after flushing (I've managed to change my bad habit of not closing the lid after almost 7 years of pleading. Yes, I'm worse than a man. And I'm a slow learner.)
Me:
- Yes on the sex life!
- Ummm... (decisions about family building we made three years ago!!)

OK, so I didn't mention the b-word or anything about three letter procedures all weekend but I had to bite my tongue constantly. I'm working hard at giving him space and trying to remember to breathe.
I do feel like we've made some progress and we were actually able to relax and share a few heartfelt laughs this weekend.

And Little Man Chevy came home from the hospital Saturday and is recovering nicely.

There's hope in the world.

28 comments:

  1. lol....such a man combining head with all of those other great things he loves about you. I'm so glad you are doing this... hugs.

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  2. This all sounds good. Really good. I'm sure this all is very hard, but I'm glad that you are doing this together.

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  3. I am so proud of you for doing your homework. This is why you two were meant to be together.

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  4. YAY! That is hilarious! I love it! Keep on keeping on!

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  5. Oh so glad you're able to share these things with each other!! Sounds like some great steps towards getting back to where you were 3 years ago in family planning, or to an even stronger more enlightened new place together with familt planning.

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  6. i give you guys A++++. see there is hope in the world, and this shows it. so glad little man is home too. just luv ya princess. xoxoxox

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  7. It speaks volumes to me that you two have been such diligent student with your homework. Really. I know that this has been an unbearably complex time for you, and you've managed it with lots of grace. I feel so hopeful for you two.

    P.S. I think "more head" is a given with guys. Sigh. I don't know that there's ever enough or too much, in their minds.

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  8. Sounds like progress...glad things are feeling better between you, too. Don't they say that laughter is the best medicine? I hope that is a great sign of things to come. - Tkeys

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  9. It really sounds promising!! And I'm delighted Little Man is doing well!

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  10. This is awesome homework! Sounds like you are really doing a great job, and it's good to have some laughs together as well. I have a lot of hope for both of you in this process.

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  11. This sounds great, you have an amazing couples therapist here. I hope you two can continue to communicate with each other. Such a great stetp in the right direction!!!!

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  12. Sounds like things are moving in the right direction for you two. Hoping that it carries on. Hugs

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  13. Fantastic - it's so good to hear you sounding more hopeful - and well done for staying away from the b-word and the three-letter acronyms. I hope he feels able to bring them up (in a positive way) soon.

    Great news about Little Man Chevy too, and I hope all continues to go well with his recovery x

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  14. I want a therapist like yours! And it sounds like an excellent exercise, and I adore your names for everyone. Glad to "meet" you through the wonder of ICLW. Good luck with everything.

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  15. CC you had me howling at the Oral Pleasure thing.

    Hysterical. I hope DD gets with the program w/the bb situation.

    Hugs, the grey lady

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  16. This looks like a really good exercise for any married couple. Lycka till - I hope everything works out!

    ICLW

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  17. I'm just coming across your blog via ICWL, glad to find you.
    Catching myself up...Seems like progress is being made, yay!
    More head? Ha! Love it....

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  18. It sounds like you guys are doing a great job working on this together. Good luck.

    ~ICLW

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  19. Yay for hope! Take care :)

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  20. Great job on working on the marriage. It's so encouraging to me to see other couples struggling and working hard to keep their marriages strong. Beautiful, really. I hope the two of you will really enjoy this time and come to a unified decision about what comes next.

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  21. Congrats on finishing your first homework assignment it sounds like it was a great excersize.

    Happy ICLW!

    Niki
    http://myaccidentallyonpurpose.tumblr.com/

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  22. Just over on ICLW. Really feel for you. This infertility business does mess with everyone's emotions. Looks like you are making progress though. I'll stay around now and cheer from the sidelines.

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  23. I think these conversations are important in any relationship... good for you guys for doing your homework!

    ICLW

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  24. Hi! I'm visiting your blog for ICLW. I must say you really had a hard time these last few months. I hope things go better from here on!

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  25. Just catching up on your posts. I'm so happy that you guys are working on your marriage. I hope that great things will come out of it and that your marriage will be strengthen.

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  26. Keep it up. Great blog, can't wait to read more. I'm your newest follower from IComLeavWe.

    -K
    http://mypottyseat.blogspot.com/

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  27. Thanks for the kind words on Busted, I really appreciate the support. Love ya back!

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