We go about our day as usual. We talk about work and what we should do this weekend. We walk the dog together. We even hold hands now and again, but when I look over in search of my husbands eyes my view is blocked by this big pink elephant walking between us.
Our insurance company has approved 8 visits each to see a therapist for "grief induced depression". First joint visit will be on Thursday.
Still waiting for someone to pinch me really hard. Having an uncontrollable urge to kick the pink intruder in the gonads.
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Oh my dear, I am so sorry for what you (we) are going through. I really hope that therapy helps, that DD is "just" having a panic attack and you are both back on the same page very soon.
ReplyDeleteI am keeping you in my thoughts and hoping very hard for a good outcome for you.
Hugs.
It is really hard, I don't know how I would cope at all, but I wonder if he sees how hurt you are at his decision. I really hope the therapy will help. Love, Fran
ReplyDeleteAt least he's willing to talk to a therapist together. There's hope.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are going through this. There is nothing worse than not being on the same page. I am virtually kicking that pink elephant for you.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and kick that pinky in the nads. Glad you are going to go to therapy though. This is just so hard. Keep being strong. Loves.
ReplyDeleteI'm really hoping it works and maybe he might see how this is really effecting you.
ReplyDeleteSweetie, I hope this will help - don't mince your words on his account! Share EXACTLY how it feels and how wrong you think this is. He has cheated you out of the experience of becoming a parent, which isn't fair since he already has done it once, albeit not all together successful if PG's reaction is any kind of gauge!
ReplyDeleteHe has reneged on your deal, you two agreed to three cycles of IVF and you have just barely completed number one!
I don't know where you find the strength to shuffle forward! I suppose you have no other option, but I still think you are strong!
You deserve the whole package, sweetie!
I definitely understanding laying low now and waiting under therapy sessions allow you to constructively discuss this. Diver Dude needs to realize that by saying he wants to stop trying, he is making the decision for both of you, which is totally unfair especially since you had an agreement, it's not like you wanted to keep doing ART indefinitely. Hoping a little time off and space will make him realize how much this is hurting you and how much you still want/need to proceed. Thinking of you. {{{HUGS}}} I really believe the two of you will work this out.
ReplyDeleteFirst off I'm so sorry for you! And 2nd Please kick that Pink Elephant in the nads for me please!!! And third I'm so glad he has agreed to go to see a counseler. That is something! Maybe having a third party to help relay how you are feeling will make him see your pain. I hate that your going through this honey! You are in my thoughts and prayers. As is the Big fat stubborn pink elephant is also! Good luck Darling!!
ReplyDeleteI hope the therapy will help you both get on the same page. I can't imagine the stress that you are under right now. It is such a punch in the gut when someone suddenly changes the rules mid-game.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you. Take care.
HUGE HUGS! I hope that you are able to find some comfort in therapy!
ReplyDeleteOh my dear girl, let's get a gang together and we can all slap the hell out of that pink elephant. I am very glad to hear that DD is up for some counselling - hopefully it will help him to move past whatever is blocking him and you will be able to resume your journey. I am thinking of you and sending you big hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad your session is coming up soon. Hopefully this is just what you and diver need. I have been thinking of you and always say a little one (well big ok) for you girl. xoxox
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry you are going through this. Wishing you strength and love during this difficult time.
ReplyDeletexxoo
Hoping for good things from the conselling. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteI really hope therapy is exactly what you two need to get back on track - whatever track the two of you decide you should be on. But this should be a decision you make together, so I'm very happy that you're getting help this week.
ReplyDeleteI'm pleased you've had the therapy approved by your insurance company and that you're getting help, and I really hope it does the trick and gets the two of you back on the same page again - but I really wish none of this was necessary. (((Hugs))) x
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping that therapy helps remove the giant pink intruder from your relationship. This is such a hard situation to be in, when you aren't agreeing about family-building, and I know that H and I would have had a much easier time of things had we pursued therapy to help us through our major disagreements. Instead, I just bulldozed him. It worked, but it's not the path I'd recommend for a normal, healthy, loving couple. I wish I'd been more respectful of his right to an opinion regarding child planning, as in retrospect, I wasn't so nice about things, and I think I'll always hope that there isn't any negative fallout from my actions (so far, so good, but I still think about it often).
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I'm so happy that you guys are still holding hands, etc., even if the elephant is between you.
Honey I wish you the best. It literally took the DH and I 17 years to become parents. I don't know when DD will come around, but I am sure he will, eventually. I have friends who were the typical "DINK" couple, high income, high education, and they NEVER wanted kids. Waited too long, could not concieve, tried to adopt overseas, took too long, and wheee... she just delivered her own bb at age 46. Healthy and happy bb.
ReplyDeleteDon't ever give up and if you love DD, hang on. The DH dragged his feet and I lost my one ovary, thus my one and only chance of IVF w/my own eggs, 5 years into our marriage (a long time ago, when IVF was ungodly expensive, but still). I just kept praying and holding onto hope.
Derlurking to say that I hope you find some peace soom.
ReplyDeletexoxo