First count

I'm in Sweden, typing away at my Mammas laptop in the kitchen. I'm sitting in a quiet sleeping house trying desperately to stay positive.

This morning Mr. Sister (BIL) gave me and Mamma a ride to Gothenburg. We arrived early for my 12 o'clock appointment so we walked around town for an hour before taking a cab to the clinic. Got to the clinic in time and went in for my first ultrasound to make sure we're producing follicles galore. Of course I am. Right? Saw a different doc from last time who shook my hand and asked me to drop trou. So I did. Like a good girl. Then he brought out the dildo cam. In front of my Mamma. Thank goodness she's a retired nurse. Dr. Doodle started looking around but soon asked me if , by chance, I needed to go urinate. He said he couldn't see much because of my full bladder... I wasn't really aware of the fact that I had to pee again, I had been once since I arrived at the clinic but quickly proceeded to down a gallon of water. So I jumped out of the stirrups, threw undies and jeans back on and ran to the loo to relieve my bladder of what was obstucting Dr. Doodles view. Back into the room, jumped out of panties and jeans for the second time and bounced back into the stirrups. After some fiddling around he found my right ovaries and started counting and measuring... First follie was 14mm, second a staggering 15 and third was 12... I waited... and that was it for the right side. WTF?? Neither I or Dr. Doodle were too thrilled about that and he immediately upped my dose to 300IE of Gonal-F a day. On to the left. Waiting. Nothing. Lots of doodleing and fiddling and mucking about but nothing. Dr. Doodle couldn't find my left frickin' ovary!! Double WTF? He said it happens and it's probably just that there's no big follicles on that side... What? That's supposed to make me feel... relieved? What? He told me not to worry about it, increase the dose and add a shot of Orgalutran to the mix and come back Friday to check for progress. He told me that even if they're only able to retrieve three they could all be star eggs and we'd have great chances and that if they did find eggs on the left side during retrieval those would just be bonus eggs. Wasn't sure if I should laugh hysterically or cry.

The rest of the day my sweet Mamma did a pretty good job distracting me by dragging me in and out of stores, feeding me lots of bad yummy things and asking my advise on about two thousand winter jackets she tried on. We rode the train home and was greeted by Sister and Nephew at the house. My nephew kept up the good work of distracting me by playing peek-a-boo, reading stories (me, not him, he's only 15 months old) and giving lots of snuggles. He kept me busy 'til he basically fell asleep running. At ten it was time to do the bigger shot and introducing the new shot. The new shot hurt like a MOFO and my poor belly got all red and itchy. And then they all went to bed. And I called D. And I cried.

Three little follicles. Please grow. Please tell your buddies to grow. Please. Love, Your Mommy