And the snow started falling

I've spent the past 4 days silently repeating the mantra grow, follies, grow in my head and picturing a landscape of green growth in my ovaries. Today I went to Gothenburg for my second ultrasound and, ladies and peeps, we have 6 good looking follies on the right and the left side is sporting two big ones (and probably a few more hiding since Dr. Doodle still had problems getting a good view of my leftie). Dr. Doodle told me the lining looks good and is ready for a little acrobat, and that he wants me to take Gonal-F and Orgalutran for 2 more days, trigger with Ovitrelle on Sunday and be ready for retrieval on Tuesday morning. I was so happy and relieved I practically twirled out of the exam room.

Nurse Inga went over the detailed instructions for me and the Hubster (who needs to wash his dudes with special soap and give them a clean shave - whoot!) and gave me two little surprises. First surprise was that our scheduled transfer day has been postponed to Sunday since retrieval was pushed forward one day. Remember the thing about non-refundable tickets? Yup, our tickets home are for Sunday. Oops! But as I'm taking a big chunk out of that sour apple she brings out the second surprise in an orange bag from behind the desk. One 300IE shot of Gonal-F and one Orgalutran on the house! Nurse Inga rocks! I was not looking forward to having to cough up another six-seven hundred dollars for meds today on top of having to buy a new plane ticket. What a completely wonderful thing to get, I had to restrain myself from kissing and squeezing her. She probably wouldn't have appreciated that affection with the swine flu red alert thing going on in Sweden so instead I thanked her from the bottom of my heart. I left the fertility centre with a big smile on my face. And then the snow started falling. The first snow of the year covering trees still filled with yellow and red leaves with an icy white blanket. Absolutely gorgeous.

Tomorrow I'm going to pick up D at the airport. I'm looking forward to covering him in big wet kisses. Life is good and I feel hopeful. Did I write that out loud? Yes. I feel hopeful.

First count

I'm in Sweden, typing away at my Mammas laptop in the kitchen. I'm sitting in a quiet sleeping house trying desperately to stay positive.

This morning Mr. Sister (BIL) gave me and Mamma a ride to Gothenburg. We arrived early for my 12 o'clock appointment so we walked around town for an hour before taking a cab to the clinic. Got to the clinic in time and went in for my first ultrasound to make sure we're producing follicles galore. Of course I am. Right? Saw a different doc from last time who shook my hand and asked me to drop trou. So I did. Like a good girl. Then he brought out the dildo cam. In front of my Mamma. Thank goodness she's a retired nurse. Dr. Doodle started looking around but soon asked me if , by chance, I needed to go urinate. He said he couldn't see much because of my full bladder... I wasn't really aware of the fact that I had to pee again, I had been once since I arrived at the clinic but quickly proceeded to down a gallon of water. So I jumped out of the stirrups, threw undies and jeans back on and ran to the loo to relieve my bladder of what was obstucting Dr. Doodles view. Back into the room, jumped out of panties and jeans for the second time and bounced back into the stirrups. After some fiddling around he found my right ovaries and started counting and measuring... First follie was 14mm, second a staggering 15 and third was 12... I waited... and that was it for the right side. WTF?? Neither I or Dr. Doodle were too thrilled about that and he immediately upped my dose to 300IE of Gonal-F a day. On to the left. Waiting. Nothing. Lots of doodleing and fiddling and mucking about but nothing. Dr. Doodle couldn't find my left frickin' ovary!! Double WTF? He said it happens and it's probably just that there's no big follicles on that side... What? That's supposed to make me feel... relieved? What? He told me not to worry about it, increase the dose and add a shot of Orgalutran to the mix and come back Friday to check for progress. He told me that even if they're only able to retrieve three they could all be star eggs and we'd have great chances and that if they did find eggs on the left side during retrieval those would just be bonus eggs. Wasn't sure if I should laugh hysterically or cry.

The rest of the day my sweet Mamma did a pretty good job distracting me by dragging me in and out of stores, feeding me lots of bad yummy things and asking my advise on about two thousand winter jackets she tried on. We rode the train home and was greeted by Sister and Nephew at the house. My nephew kept up the good work of distracting me by playing peek-a-boo, reading stories (me, not him, he's only 15 months old) and giving lots of snuggles. He kept me busy 'til he basically fell asleep running. At ten it was time to do the bigger shot and introducing the new shot. The new shot hurt like a MOFO and my poor belly got all red and itchy. And then they all went to bed. And I called D. And I cried.

Three little follicles. Please grow. Please tell your buddies to grow. Please. Love, Your Mommy

Can I pack my bags yet?

Last night I bought my tickets to Sweden. Non-refundable. Now that's a little scary. Let's just hope everything goes according to plan (knocking very hard on wood). I'll be there from October 11 to 25 and D will join me some time around the 17th. I'm trying to pace myself and not have my bags packed several weeks in advance. I've got to stay busy doing other things. Like yoga-ing, taking loooong walks and seeing lots of friends. (No, not eating ice cream and chocolate.) Like working on business ideas, updating my website and blogging. So here I am starting at the end of that list.

Thought I'd give you a little preview of the upcoming show. Imagine this read by Don LaFontaine: 

October 8, 2009 The IVF Circus starts rehearsal with Gonal-F and the Follicles. Five days later Orgalutran appears with the amazing egg juggling act. Suddenly Ovitrelle steps in for final preparations forty eight hours before the eggs exit to the petri dish. Under the influence of a double, triple, no wait, quadruple shot of happy juice all eggs are swiftly taken back stage. Meanwhile in another room The Swimmers are aspirated to make their call time. With very little introduction each of the Eggs are paired with a Swimmer and start their performance on the petri dish. Three to five gruesome days of try outs follow to see which embryo will be the star of the show. There will be many runner ups put on hold, but there can be only one little embryo put on the big womb stage to make magic. This lucky embryo will grow and develop for nine months before finally entering the world to standing ovations. One loving family's much awaited Circus Child. The one that's meant to be.

{And then we'll live happily ever after.}