Monday, 12 July 2010

July 12, 2010

Over the past nine months I've looked at this date in my calendar so many times, wondering what I would feel on this day. Expecting sadness and a feeling of loss, secretly hoping the day would come and go without much fuzz.

Here it is. Acrobat's expected due date.

In my heart I believe our Acrobat was never meant to be in my arms. From the very beginning there was all this drama, and although I hoped and prayed with all my being for a different outcome, deep down I think I knew it wouldn't turn out the way we wished.

Loosing the Acrobat taught me so many things.  It taught me to trust my body to know how to heal. It taught me to see sunshine through the rain and the outpouring of love from friends and strangers in a time of darkness. It taught me to trust in the higher order of things, and it taught me to be strong when I was feeling weak.

I'm forever grateful for getting through a grief that knocked the air out of me, and for surfacing on the other side a stronger person. I'm grateful for the short time Acrobat was with us.

Today is so different from anything I ever expected. I'm five weeks and four days pregnant with a miracle. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

17 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post. Sending you lots of (((hugs))) today, as every day x

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  2. You feel like the luckiest woman in the world...because you are.

    Enjoy every minute of it.

    xxx

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  3. You are lucky :) AND deserving....HUGS.

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  4. Oh my sweet friend, this post was beautiful.
    You are the luckiest woman in world...and I'm so glad that I'm able to share this HAPPY BLISSFUL time wit you.

    HUGS

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  5. Sending you tons of hugs and bloggy love today.

    Jo

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  6. What?? your pregnant? I don't check the blog for 2 weeks and this is what happens!! OMG!!! OMG!!! so happy for you!

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  7. You are definitely one lucky lady. Beautiful post - your little Acrobat is missed.

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  8. All my love and support - always!

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  9. This gives me the ugly cry...in such a good way.

    Hugs and love

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  10. I go on vacation and when I come back, you're pregnant?!? Great news!! Congratulations!!!! :) :)

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  11. such a touching post.

    I'm glad on this day your loss doesn't seem "senseless", that you were able to find life lessons in your grief and now hope in a new beginning.

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  12. May your little miracle be with you for such a long long happy after! May there be heartbeats and limb buds and hope and love and nothing but good news...

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  13. What a bittersweet day. I continue to pray for the little miracle growing inside you!

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  14. Beautiful post. Much love to you!

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  15. 感謝您寫下您的生活,也是把珍寶來和諸君分享的心意。 ............................................................

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  16. I'm rooting for you lovely lady! Congrats again!

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  17. I'm thrilled for you! - Tkeys

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