I feel "fuzzy"

I'm a light weight when it comes to drugs. Probably because I grew up in a socialistic country with public, free healthcare that believes that the remedy "go home and sleep it off" works with most ailments. I had never really taken anything stronger than baby aspirin before I came to the U.S. in my mid twenties. Well, aside from antibiotics and when I had surgery, but you know, for headaches and colds and such. The first time I caught a cold in Hawaii my college room mates told me to take some NightQuil. So I did, went to bed and slept for 24 hours and woke up with a terrible hang-over. My room mates were terrified! After that episode I went back to "sleeping things off" naturally whenever I caught a cold. Until a few years ago when I started getting severe cramps with the Bloody Monster, I then popped 800mg Motrin like candy and still couldn't get out of bed. The culprit turned out to be a 1.5 cm polyp blocking my cervix and has since been removed and my periods are now as good as pain free. So thankfully this past year I've been back to my old habits of not taking any painkillers, cold medicins or what have you. But you can't join the circus au naturel, now can you?

Since I started taking the Gonal-F injections Wednesday night I've had an increasing sensation of feeling "fuzzy"... It's like my brain is surrounded by cotton. I don't know if it's related to the hormones or if it's some side effect of being a little stressed. I also seem to be a little off, kind of like moving and thinking in slow motion but being fully aware of it. Could it be I'm high on estrogen? I drink water like it's going out of style too. Had almost 3 liters yesterday and was constantly thirsty. Is this normal, does anyone know?

On another note, I just received an Honest Scrap Award from Illinare and a Kreative Blogger Award from WannabeMommy - Thank you girlies! Selecting 12 bloggers to nominate for these awards will be easy and I'll post 17 things not previously known about me as soon as I can get my fuzzball head to think of something fun or exciting to say. 

Tonight's the night

I think the Bloody Monster must have read my post yesterday because as soon as I had finished writing she arrived with a bang. And for the first time in a very long time I was absolutely thrilled to see her. Her arrival means we're finally joining the circus! I threw myself on the phone and called my REs office in Sweden to tell them the great news. "Nurse Inga" chuckled when she heard my excitement and quickly proceeded to give me the schedule of events. - I'm to start taking 225 mg of Gonal-F every night tonight. Come in for ultrasound and blood work on the 12th (good news, since my non-refundable ticket to Sweden is on the 11th - phew!) and start adding a daily shot of Orgalutran that evening. Come in for a second ultrasound on the 16th and be ready for egg retrieval and sperm aspiration on the 19th (more good news since Ds non-refundable ticket is on the 17th - double phew!). Embryo transfer scheduled for the 23rd and then we're allowed to fly back to England the 25th (which is when, you guessed it, our non-refundable tickets are for - PHEW!). 

I can't believe it's finally here, the month when we actually have a shot at making magic. With a little help from the stork assistants over in Sweden my eggs will meet Ds swimmers for what could very well be the first time. I'm doing a little dance around the office :-)

 

Last night I enjoyed what I hope is my last glass of Cabernet for a very long time. D and I shared a toast to a successful circus performance. And I'd like to extend that to you my dear blogging friends, thank you for all your wonderful support and advice, lift your beverage of choice and say - Skål (cheers in Swedish) to a successful circus performance to us all :-)

This is the week

This is the week we join the circus. I'm supposed to start injecting myself with Gonal-F some time around Thursday depending on when The Bloody Monster makes her appearance. No more virgin belly. No more head in the sand thinking this problem will go away on its own. Holy crap, it's really happening! I'm so overwhelmed with opposing emotions and don't really know how to deal with all this. I'm so happy I could dance and at the same time I have this deep sadness lurking in the background. I'm so full of hope I could burst and at the same time a dark fear of failure is constantly stalking me. In essence these emotions land me on a rocky neutral where I'm constantly at risk for falling. Kind of like walking the tight rope. Wish me luck.