Thursday, 21 October 2010

I am that woman.

I am the elusive woman you hear about from at least one of your friends/family/colleagues when telling them about your battle with infertility.
I am the sister of your brother's coworker's aunt's cousin's neighbor.
I am the urban myth not even Dr. Google can find.

I am the woman who got pregnant while getting ready to start IVF. The second time.

During the past three years I've heard so many miracle stories about women who have gotten pregnant before their first cycle of IVF, after their husbands had a vasectomy, or before/after adopting a child - but the person telling the story has never known the person first hand or been able to provide details of their medical diagnosis. So for every story told I choked on a slightly bitter laugh and dismissed it as an attempt of encouragement or just utter bull-crap.
If that small voice of hope had the audacity to ever make as much as a peep, I quickly shut it up with our statistics and medical facts:
• Diver Dude has obstructive azoospermia after an unsuccessful vasectomy reversal
• I have one unblocked tube on the left, and a history of uterine polyps and cervical cancer
• Our Swedish clinic gave us an estimated success rate of 35-45% per transfer with IVF/ICSI and PESA, and less than 0.01% the old fashioned way
• For our first IVF, Diver Dude's planned PESA had to be turned in to a TESA because no mature sperm were found in the epididymis and even then only a few swimmers were found in his testicles
• The IVF/ICSI+TESA gave us four blastocysts of excellent quality - the first transfer resulted in a BFP only to be followed by a heart breaking miscarriage at 6 weeks, the second transfer gave us a nothing but a shadow of a second line, and the two remaining blasts resulted in a cancelled FET when they against all odds didn't survive the thaw
Surprise natural pregnancies might happen to other infertile couples but clearly no such thing could happen to us.

And yet, here I am.
20 weeks pregnant against all odds.
Miracles do happen.

I am that woman.

Welcome all you lovelies visiting from ICLW, I can't wait to get to know you! 
If you'd like to know more about me and this crazy story (there's so much more to it) feel free to prowl around previous posts :)

Lots of love,
Circus Princess

32 comments:

  1. I'm still sat here completely speechless about the fact that you're now 20 weeks along! What the?!? Where did all that time go?!?

    xxx

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  2. I am so glad you are that woman!! I love your story. I really am going to like the happy ending :)

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  3. Hip hip hooray for 20 weeks!! Congrats on being halfway there!!

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  4. Here from ICLW. I have heard of 'the woman who' and am delighted to finally meet one:) I am so glad it happened for YOU. Jen

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  5. You....you....are THE WOMAN...and I love ya.

    20 weeks...Holy Cow..I can't believe it, wow...it's flown by.
    But I am so happy for you, as if I need to tell you that. *Hugs*

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  6. Ha! I love this post! I am so glad that you are that woman CP! And wow, twenty weeks? You are half way there! Yippee!

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  7. You're the first "that woman" I've ever talked to. Nice to know they do exist and so happy that you get to be "that woman"! I can't believe you're 20 weeks already! You so have to post a new belly shot! You give me hope on having a chance at a sibling as we seem to have a very similar IF profiles.

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  8. OMG, how are you 20 weeks already???? Seriously, it's going too quickly! And I agree, we need updated belly photos! HUGS to my favorite miracle preggo.

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  9. Thank you for stopping by my blog! It must feel great to be "that woman"! So glad for you! Looking forward to following along!

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  10. I love your story! You ARE that woman, that spark of hope that people try to give, but that would have discouraged me while trying because surely that would never happen to me. . .I am THIS woman. In May, we got pregnant again on our own not trying, but lost that baby to a miscarriage in July. I am (shh. . .haven't announced on my blog yet) 5 weeks pregnant again. A friend of mine left a quote for me once that I love - If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans.

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  11. Hi Circus Princess,
    Thanks so much for stopping over at my blog the other day and leaving a comment. It warmed my heart. I liked your comment about my freudian slip. It was actually a kind of conscious freudian slip, if that even exists?!

    WOW! What a story you shared with us in this post. I love, love, love to read that miracles happen. And how awesome that this one happened to you. Even if you are midway through your pregnancy, it must seem so unreal at times. Does it? Or does the belly feel provide a good daily reminder of what is happening?

    take good care, lovely.

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  12. Welcome to Cantaloupe land - I have moved on and is now at Aubergine/Eggplant land! :)
    I love your story and it makes me so, so happy!
    And for you to be only about a month behind me is absolutely fantastic, sweets!
    You are the poster person of hope for everyone!

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  13. You're a legend! Fantastic that you're halfway there. Plus your story really does help me, because with all the other urban legends, you never know if maybe they'd just been panicking about taking a while to conceive and didn't really have a problem at all. Since we have a diagnosed problem (three, actually), I always dismissed the stories of Those Women as being something that could still never happen to me.

    You, though - you give me hope! x

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  14. WOAH. That's amazing. I'm so glad to hear that you really DO exist!

    Thanks for stopping by the bloggie :-)

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  15. Happy ICLW! Your story is amazing. We got a surprise BFP this month, but not with your odds.

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  16. Just dropping by from ICLW. It's nice to see that sometimes the completely unexpected and shocking event can be a good thing. Hope everything keeps going well for your family.

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  17. I love "miracle" stories like yours - congrats!

    ICLW #13

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  18. ICLW! Congratulations! I wish you much much happiness.

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  19. Your story makes me happy every time I read it!

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  20. I love that your story is out there, a verifiable urban legend, to gives others hope.

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  21. Half way?! How did that happen? The world needs more miracles, so thank you for being one. xo

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  22. CP- Don't kill the cat. I've already killed the proverbial rabbit. TS-baby due in July. ;)

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  23. And I am so thrilled that you are that woman!
    Plus - WTF 20 weeks already? Really? Amazing!

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  24. We're in a similar boat. We were getting ready for our IVF consult for cycle #2 when we got the good news!

    Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

    ICLW
    http://daega99-arewethereyet.blogspot.com/

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  25. Stil un-freakin-believable! Love this!

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  26. 20 weeks
    hot DAMN
    SO HAPPY FOR YOU
    and yes, I am shouting!

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  27. I do think about you when I hear people tell those stories about knowing someone who knows someone who knows someone you miraculously got pregnant. It is so freakin' awesome that that happened to you!!!

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  28. Dropping by from ICLW (#129). Congratulations! It sounds like your personal struggles have brought you to a real appreciation of every single second of your experience, and that's wonderful. Brings back nice memories. Thanks for sharing.

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  29. What an awesome story you have! Yes miracles do happen. :)

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  30. What an incredibly beautiful, fabulous miracle! Congrats on your pregnancy.

    ICLW #14

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