tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post1978696121747388279..comments2023-10-22T10:06:07.674+01:00Comments on Circus Children: An impossible choiceCircus Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00201859855761532276noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-17491501267249600842020-05-12T14:12:58.469+01:002020-05-12T14:12:58.469+01:00Judi Online
Judi Bola
Agen Bola
Agen Sbobet<a href="http://playainfo.info/forums/users/richoads56/" rel="nofollow">Judi Online</a><br /><br /><a href="http://playainfo.info/forums/users/richoads56/" rel="nofollow">Judi Bola</a><br /><br /><a href="http://playainfo.info/forums/users/richoads56/" rel="nofollow">Agen Bola</a><br /><br /><a href="http://playainfo.info/forums/users/richoads56/" rel="nofollow">Agen Sbobet</a><br /><br />mantapjiwahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13739292392624159516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-22380618118776994362010-06-25T14:59:48.067+01:002010-06-25T14:59:48.067+01:00Heartbreaking post. Thank you for being so open an...Heartbreaking post. Thank you for being so open and sharing your story with us.Three Cats and a Babyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16757969648902689785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-34779372640555877532010-06-08T15:23:32.190+01:002010-06-08T15:23:32.190+01:00I'm so sorry you're faced with this decisi...I'm so sorry you're faced with this decision. I have an extremely cynical bent, so I cannot in good conscience give you any advice. I hope you can figure out the best path for yourself and your future. Much luck.areyoukiddingmehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16107214079237461141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-90638462875155354822010-06-08T00:34:13.500+01:002010-06-08T00:34:13.500+01:00I'm sorry to hear that you have such a difficu...I'm sorry to hear that you have such a difficult decison to make. I have no idea what I would do in your situation. I hope that you find the answers and peace that you are seeking. LFCATwoDogMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14786932497180548480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-62733352525879205872010-06-07T22:28:10.044+01:002010-06-07T22:28:10.044+01:00I'm sending you love and light. xoxoI'm sending you love and light. xoxoAunt Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12146687582842259611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-16954141853424984362010-06-07T22:09:40.516+01:002010-06-07T22:09:40.516+01:00(((hugs))) I desperately wish I had some answers, ...(((hugs))) I desperately wish I had some answers, or at least some good advice. Unfortunately, this decision is yours to make, using your head, heart, and gut feelings. You are clearly in love with him, and I'm sure it's difficult for him to hurt you. I didn't read all of your blog (just this post), but perhaps talking to a counselor might help? A marriage counselor for both, maybe an IF counselor for you (and him if he's willing). This is truly a difficult choice, but from your post, it sounds like you really don't want to be without this man. I hope that there's a way you can both be happy in a decision. I wish you both the ability to handle whichever decision is made, and best of luck too.Jackiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10507309605382575798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-30123364267734020772010-06-07T21:37:38.274+01:002010-06-07T21:37:38.274+01:00When I was TTC my then DH decided that he no long...When I was TTC my then DH decided that he no longer wanted to try. I was devastated. I could not imagine my life without him and I could not imagine not being a mother either. But I knew that I would stay no matter what, I loved him and he was my "for sure". We had each other. He eventually changed his mind , we got pregnant, had a beautiful girl ... but the man I loved, that marriage I thought was the only certain thing I had crumbled before my eyes. I went from dealing with infertility to dealing with infidelity. Now I know that the only thing I know for sure is that I will be forever my daughter's mother. Don't stay just because this is the only thing you know for sure and motherhood seems so uncertain now. It is nice that he is being honest with you, but it terribly unfair . I don't know his reasons, thus I can judge but my question is : Would you deny him of something that really meant a lot to him???? How would he react to that?<br />HUGS. I hope that you can find an answer within youCibelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02361386515177047271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-74585164281905042142010-06-07T16:21:37.002+01:002010-06-07T16:21:37.002+01:00Here from LFCA
I'm sorry that you have this d...Here from LFCA<br /><br />I'm sorry that you have this decision to make. I have no advice for you - because it has to be your decision, but I hope that you take time to carefully consider the options. And most of all I hope that DiverDude, realises the awful place he has put you and starts to think again.nhhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08579146100268312887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-52561018198316695072010-06-07T16:06:49.876+01:002010-06-07T16:06:49.876+01:00This is a terrible choice. But if it were mine, I ...This is a terrible choice. But if it were mine, I would choose Diver Dude. My pregnancy was so very hard, and our baby was INSANELY DIFFICULT for eight weeks. If I had had enough money to hire a full time nanny or house keeper, I might have been able to do it alone. Before I met my husband I had given up on finding love and had determined to get IUI with donor sperm. I had a car, and a condo, and access to 24 hour child care near my job. I was going to do it. But having had a baby the sheer logistics of doing it alone can be overwhelming. It can be done, with a good support system. <br /><br />How do you see yourself at the end of your life? You could roll the dice and end up with no baby, and no Diver Dude. Or you could roll them and have a baby and find love elsewhere in the years to come. I'll tell you the truth, my father remarried in his late fifties and I love my stepmother. I go to her for advice and help before I go to my Mom. <br /><br />I don't think you have a wrong choice in front of you, just a very hard one.Celiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681663732376253772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-51322777940057992232010-06-07T16:01:39.504+01:002010-06-07T16:01:39.504+01:00I was in your shoes. Before we got married, before...I was in your shoes. Before we got married, before we were even serious, my boyfriend, now husband, and I discussed the fact that neither of us wanted to have children. But as time went on, and we had been married for about 5 years, events happened in my life that changed my perspective. I began to want to have not a baby or a child but a FAMILY, something more than just the sum of husband and me. But I love my husband so deeply, he is the only man I can imagine spending the rest of my life with, and I was in mourning. I didn't want to give him up, I didn't want to give up being part of a family. So I laid my torment at his feet and let him know what HIS choices were and where I stood. Luckily for me, for both of us, he decided to try a family life with me. <br /><br />Miss Ruby and your DD are wrong in very many ways. Wanting a baby or a child isn't wanting a baby or a child alone. I am not a fan of babies, what I wanted was a connection between my grandparents, my parents, my siblings, my husband, AND me. The minute you bring a child into your life you have a family. It doesn't end when your child is grown, the love only grows bigger...when he falls in love or she has a child. <br /><br /> How nice that your DD has a family already. How does yours continue through your step children? Who will you sing the lullabies you grew up with to? Share your family traditions with? The problem with men is that they see what affects them immediately, not the long term. Your DD has dealt with the crying baby in the middle of the night, the sick kid that keeps you up, the worries and fears. There are very few men who say "Yeah, I'll take that on." No matter WHERE they are in their life. They aren't fathers for REAL until they have a baby in their arms, and then they wouldn't go back. Yeah, babies are hard, toddlers are hard...but they grow, and that time is brief. Your DD has already done it, but he should be able to come to a joint decision with you, not just lay his cards on the table and walk away. After all, he has already GOT it all. Can you imagine for a moment if you came to him and said "You can have me forever, but I expect you to give up all contact with your children forever and be only with me."? There is something about this that just doesn't sit well with me. I hope that you can at least sit down with him and lay your cards on the table, too. Fair is fair.<br /><br />LFCAChickenpighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09442755180328605920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-65654046317959567922010-06-07T14:54:14.133+01:002010-06-07T14:54:14.133+01:00Coming from LFCA: I wish there was a magic crystal...Coming from LFCA: I wish there was a magic crystal ball that would show you what was the future, which road to take. Unforunately, ther is only the choice. I am sorry you have to make such an impossible one.Delennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12567889031642608101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-76974201804759564812010-06-07T14:35:02.193+01:002010-06-07T14:35:02.193+01:00Saw the news on LFCA. I wish there were an easy a...Saw the news on LFCA. I wish there were an easy answer. There is so much uncertainty ... it's hard to live life on the basis of what *might* happen, and yet, you know in your heart if you are happy. Take time to care for yourself right now, and to live with whatever is in your heart. I hope that you find peace, whatever you decide.Justine Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14190295175501659469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-67700613226219566632010-06-07T13:55:54.133+01:002010-06-07T13:55:54.133+01:00I'm sorry this is the decision you are facing....I'm sorry this is the decision you are facing. I've been on lots of childless/free (not by choice and by choice) forums over the past almost-10 years, & this is a frequently posed question (although we don't always hear what the decision was & how things worked out). In some cases there are stepchildren -- in some cases, there is a great relationship and in others, not so great. <br /><br />It's a crapshoot -- stay with the man you love -- but with a great sense of loss & perhaps a tinge of resentment colouring your relationship -- or leave in the hope that you will either find another man to build a family with, or purue single motherhood -- with the caveat, of course, that you may or may not meet someone, and that pursuing fertility treatments may or may not work. SIGH. <br /><br />Whatever you decide, I wish you eventual happiness.loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-9579944878316064962010-06-07T13:08:26.599+01:002010-06-07T13:08:26.599+01:00Aw, shit. I wish I had something actually helpful...Aw, shit. I wish I had something actually helpful to contribute here, but I don't. What Tamsen says above made me gasp a bit. close to the bone. My vision is clouded by my own desire for a child, but if I were out for drinks with DD, I would ask him to think about what it means to love you, and not love this part of you. I guess I might ask you the reverse, if I weren't so cloudy-eyed. <br /><br />While I won't go so far as to advocate splitting from DD -- that was one heck of a love story you posted -- I remain unconvinced that the alternative is being alone forever. You seem like an immensely loving and lovable person. I'll stop there, as this tack seems machiavellian to me, but I'm sure you follow.<br /><br />In conclusion, shitballs. No useful advice. But I hope you see the love and sadness for you in the rambling above.Bionic Baby Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14308646591208692676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-82550501010676874192010-06-07T12:59:58.919+01:002010-06-07T12:59:58.919+01:00Here from LFCA. Loss and infertility seem to prese...Here from LFCA. Loss and infertility seem to present us with a series of tough choices but this one is unimaginably difficult. I am so very sorry that you are in a position where you must even contemplate this, and I well understand that either decision is horrible in its own right, and filled with pitfalls. Thinking of you. And hoping that Diver Dude has a change of heart.Adelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06955659206478903815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-75475659739051688972010-06-07T12:00:59.061+01:002010-06-07T12:00:59.061+01:00Here from LFCA. As you say it's an impossible...Here from LFCA. As you say it's an impossible decision. I would give DD a bit more time to work through his "issues" and hopefully he'll change his mind moving forward.<br /><br />Perhaps if you explain it to him like you've explained it to us??<br /><br />HUGS.<br /><br />xxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-21156486197695482662010-06-06T22:16:41.015+01:002010-06-06T22:16:41.015+01:00Dear CP,
sorry that life doesn't live up to ou...Dear CP,<br />sorry that life doesn't live up to our dreams.. I guess no one really dreams of finding a man with children, I didn't but just spend 5 years with my DP. Then, no one dreams of infertility but it has been the focus of the past years as well. With some things in life it helps to work towards what you really want, but I'm not sure the same goes for IF or love.<br />Rationally I would say stay and try donor sperm and see what happens, but emotionally I can only offer hugs and say that I'm as scared for you and DD as for me and DP.Valeryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10210187335704409247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-86386434154746655422010-06-06T15:50:13.854+01:002010-06-06T15:50:13.854+01:00I'm sorry too.
I have to agree with Miss Ruby...I'm sorry too.<br /><br />I have to agree with Miss Ruby about giving up dreams - if you both have incompatible dreams, either one of you having to give up your dream is tragic and equally sad.<br /><br />Unfortunately, it seems as though DD is willing to give up your relationship to keep his dream, and it puts you in the position of having to know that his "dream" of his relationship with you is less important than the childless dream. That must really hurt.<br /><br />I don't know if this will help, but your post and the comments make me think 2 things:<br /><br />First, know yourself. I don't know if I could give up a dream and not be resentful, and destroy whatever trust and love there was in the relationship - hopefully if you decide to give up your dream you will be able to be happy.<br /><br />Second, everyone talks as though being alone is the worst possible thing. Can you imagine a scenario in which you are alone in 20 years and are happy? What do you have to do and what are the choices you have to make to get there?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15511936102916645466noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-22879833705291558962010-06-06T02:48:26.518+01:002010-06-06T02:48:26.518+01:00I am so sorry this is the decision you have to mak...I am so sorry this is the decision you have to make. I wish you peace.Nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06248293979879390754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-1872720754372426312010-06-06T00:45:51.372+01:002010-06-06T00:45:51.372+01:00your impossible choice is one of my deepest fears....your impossible choice is one of my deepest fears. <br /><br />but if this journey has taught me anything, it is that i am stronger than i ever would have guessed. may you find comfort and peace in whatever path you choice.foxyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05482866425915180237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-47621542295024520872010-06-05T12:30:23.420+01:002010-06-05T12:30:23.420+01:00((((hugs)))))((((hugs)))))Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10341557082868814622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-85557953894630423672010-06-05T09:05:52.580+01:002010-06-05T09:05:52.580+01:00My heart is just breaking for you right now. I wi...My heart is just breaking for you right now. I will pray that guidance comes to you as well to him. Hang in there.Lori LeRoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01981773036545324499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-86142897970380717942010-06-05T06:44:47.623+01:002010-06-05T06:44:47.623+01:00Ok I’m going to be the voice of difference here.
...Ok I’m going to be the voice of difference here.<br /><br />You have to step back and weigh up what you have now verse what you may OR may not have in the future dependant on choices. <br /><br />In your left hand is what you have now, a wonderful life with a man that you love completely and truly with your whole soul and being. An all consuming, all encompassing love. A love that gets you through the ups and downs of marriage. <br /><br />In your right hand is nothing but maybes. So if you leave DD and get donor sperm you MAY get pregnant but you also MAY NOT. Say you DO get pregnant with donor sperm; great you have your much longed for child but what have you lost? If you don’t manage to get pregnant, then you not only don’t have the child but you also don’t have DD – double loss and no wins.<br /><br />You say that because DD is older than you, you will probably be a young widow and be alone. Nothing in life is certain, YOU may die before DD, you may die together or yes DD may die before you. If you have child alone, yes you will have that love of the child but come 18, there is a fairly high chance that the much longed for child that you had left DD to have, will be spreading their own wings and leaving the nest....leaving you – yep you guessed it, alone.<br /><br />I have read the comments attached to this post and I really have to comment on some of them....<br /><br />I agree that NOT having a child will result in mourning the thing you want and not being able to have it – hell I’m doing that right now so I KNOW it will and does happen. However, if DD says yes to having a child and actually doesn’t want one, then he may mourn for the life that he wanted but didn’t get because he agreed to have a child when he perhaps didn’t really truly want one. I have an issue with something Mrs Farmer said - you say if DD loved CP then he wouldn’t want to see her in this pain – how about we reverse that and say if CP loved DD, then she wouldn’t have to nor want to convince him to do or have something that he’s already admitted in his heart he doesn’t want.<br /><br />Tishi<br />“Part of me thinks that he should not want to deny you something that you need in your life to feel whole, but then again I don't know the whole situation.”<br />But should CP want to force something upon DD that he obviously does not want?<br /><br />You both love each other, that isn’t in doubt, however you both want something completely different. Neither of you want to give up what you want, so you either have to come to a compromise or be prepared to walk away to find what you want either with other people or alone.<br /><br />I read your post AND the comments out to Bikerman and the first thing he said was “why does DD have to be the one to compromise on what he wants? Why is it always the man?”<br /><br />This comment isn’t written in a nasty way – so please don’t take it like that. It’s written to try and let you see things from a different angle. I’m not one for following the sheep and telling people what they want to hear, I would rather tell people the truth (as I see it) and let them do what they want with it.<br /><br />I, like Kari who posted further up, never wanted children until I met Bikerman. HE is the reason why I want children, if I was with anyone else or even alone, I wouldn’t want children, he makes me want to be a mother so we can have children together. That isn’t going to happen now, 8 miscarriages have seen to that and so I’m readjusting to life with just Bikerman and I.<br /><br />Is our life going to be what I’d hoped it would be when we got married? No. Is our life going to be fabulous, filled with loved up moments and spontaneous things decided at the drop of a hat? Absolutely!<br /><br />Only YOU will know if you can be happy with just you and DD for the rest of your lives, if your love for each other is enough but I’m here to tell you that, if you decide that it is, that life can still be wonderful – just in a different way.<br />xxxx~stinkb0mb~https://www.blogger.com/profile/13933191141338188027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-51105293977871571482010-06-04T21:46:41.703+01:002010-06-04T21:46:41.703+01:00Oh my dear, my heart aches for you. I wish so muc...Oh my dear, my heart aches for you. I wish so much that this was different and I can't even begin to imagine how impossible this is. I am holding you in my heart and sending good thoughts in your direction.Illanarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05203774916178621215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1308617633438401442.post-69115787591526689552010-06-04T21:29:43.606+01:002010-06-04T21:29:43.606+01:00Oh, all I can do is send many huge *hugs* and hope...Oh, all I can do is send many huge *hugs* and hope for you. I know this impossible choice all too well - I have a similar one that I don't blog about. If you ever need anyone to talk to (outside of blogging of course), please email me at ayariaATgmailDOTcom.<br /><br />*hug* *HUG* *hug*<br /><br />(beautiful pic - I love it)jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06645802594940433840noreply@blogger.com