Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Monday, 28 September 2009
We are so out of the IF closet now hardly anything is embarrassing or awkward to talk about anymore. For us. For complete strangers that get an earful of our upcoming circus performance when asking if we have kids, maybe.
Friday, 25 September 2009
Thursday, 24 September 2009
I collect weird things. Always have. I also collect perfectly normal things. Like rocks. But today for "show & tell" I thought I'd show you some of the strange things that I've saved over the years. Quality of images may not be top notch, I basically threw these items in the scanner so bear with me.
Forth is when it starts getting really weird. It's a dried up gecko I found behind an outlet in a Kailua house after getting zapped with 110V. I was working as an underpaid, and paid under the table, electricians assistant while I studied communication arts. In Hawai'i geckos are a symbol of good luck.
I'm bummed out because I couldn't find what I really wanted to show you. When I was in my early twenties I found a four leaf clover during a lovers quarrel... Anyway, I've searched high and low and turned my already messy office into something out of a disaster movie but it's nowhere to be found. Bullocks!
The "what if" list? Still not written, turns out D just really needed to talk and the only way he knew how to start a conversation was to suggest making a list... He's homesick, misses his girls, paranoid about the big b-day coming up and isn't really happy at work. We had a long talk while we walked the dog as the sun set over the fields and he started to feel a little better. It seems I've dodged the list making once again. Just as I was starting to think it might be a good idea.
* Maternal Grandfather
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Monday, 21 September 2009
Friday, 18 September 2009
Thursday, 17 September 2009
I have the best sister in the world. We are less than two years apart and have been best friends since the day she was born. Even though at times we've been thousands of miles and oceans apart we've always been very close. We are also lucky enough to be married to men who have become best friends over the years.
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
Friday, 11 September 2009
Yesterday I read a fellow infertile sisters newest post in which she talks about the risk of being seen as ungrateful. She worries about her new twin pregnancy and her toddler son, conceived after years of infertility and several attempts at IUI. Completely normal thoughts like: Am I ready for this? Can I really take care of 2 infants and a toddler? What about sleep depravation, etc., etc. She then goes on to talk about how lucky they are to have the opportunity to have three kids in spite of their infertility. When talking about her and her DH's conversation about having their second and possibly third child she continues by saying: " I thought DH was just wanting to further postpone getting the big snip-snip".
Thursday, 10 September 2009
Last night I bought my tickets to Sweden. Non-refundable. Now that's a little scary. Let's just hope everything goes according to plan (knocking very hard on wood). I'll be there from October 11 to 25 and D will join me some time around the 17th. I'm trying to pace myself and not have my bags packed several weeks in advance. I've got to stay busy doing other things. Like yoga-ing, taking loooong walks and seeing lots of friends. (No, not eating ice cream and chocolate.) Like working on business ideas, updating my website and blogging. So here I am starting at the end of that list.
Wednesday, 9 September 2009
She showed up, The Bloody Monster, and you'll be pleased to hear I didn't fall for the temptation to test. So I'm relieved and disappointed. A little less disappointed than the past 28 months, but bummed out none the less... But now we can book our tickets to go to Sweden for the circus next month. That makes it real. Holy shit! We're actually doing it. Yay! Is it weird to want to start injecting yourself with hormones? I can't wait. I'll jab that sucker into my belly without hesitation! Had I told my 10 years younger self this she would've laughed out loud and reminded me that we're very scared of needles. Not anymore.
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
The one month I actually want her to show up she just won't! WTF? She's supposed to arrive today but so far not a sign, and I'm never late. Well, once in 2 years, which initially lit a bright beam of hope and then a black hole of disappointment when she showed, but otherwise no. No use in testing this time though since we found out there's just no way we can make babies on our own... so it's just really annoying... Should I test anyway, could a miracle have happened and one swimmer got through? (says little hopeful voice in my head) No, I'm pathetic and need to just chill out (says little realist with growling voice, also in my head). AAAAAARRRGGH!! Every day she's late postpones the circus another day. Good thing we didn't order our non-refundable tickets to Sweden yet! 'Cause then we would've really been SOL. Need. To be. Patient.
Friday, 4 September 2009
Angela Bassett (twins at 47)
Beverly D'Angelo (twins at 49)
Carcelle Beauvais-Nilon (twins at 41)
Geena Davis (twins at 48)
Halle Berry (first child at 41)
Helena Bonham Carter (first child at 41)
Holly Hunter (twins at 47)
Jane Seymour (twins at 45)
J-Lo (twins at the age of 38)
Julia Roberts (twins at 36)
Lisa Marie Presley (twins at 40)
Marcia Cross (twins at 44)
Nicole Kidman (new mom at 40 having adopted in previous marriage)
What do you think?
Thursday, 3 September 2009
Looking out the window at the tall trees swaying in the wind and hearing the wind whipping round the house it's clear that fall is here. Just two days ago I had lunch in the back yard with a friend and got what will most likely be this summers last sunburn.
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Tuesday, 1 September 2009
1. I'm really swedish, not just "my-family-came-to-america
2. I'm also american. The naturalized kind that came-to-the-country-in-the
3. My heart has many homes and I'm constantly homesick.
4. I live in a house in England that used to be a barn. Horses used to live here.
5. I'm deathly afraid of horses.
6. I'm a passionate feminist who swore to never get married.
7. Every day I fall deeper in love with my husband. (Breaking the vow of non-marriage is the best decision I ever made)
8. I'm a domestic disaster turned temporary housewife.
9. My mom never let me help around the kitchen as a child and I'm learning how to cook in my mid-30's with the help of Jamie Oliver and Rachel Ray.
10. Cleaning house, getting up early, and bad weather makes me grumpy. There should be laws against these things.
11. I wanted to be an opera singer and a ballet dancer when I was a little girl. -Hah!
12. I would do my job for free. And have. Too many times.
13. I'm really skinny. I'm just wearing a fat suit and can remove it at any time.
14. I smoked 20 cigarettes a day, every day, for 15+ years. Now I don't.
15. Fake boobs scare me. Men who love fake boobs scare me more.
16. Cancer, tics, fleas and mites creep me out. I've had all four.
17. I've discovered the irony in spending my entire youth trying not to get pregnant.
18. I'd choose texting or mailing over talking on the phone any day. But if given the choice I'd rather see people in person than text or mail.
19. Every time I try to organize my office I end up in a pile of old letters, photos, books, ticket stubs, and artwork. It's very time consuming and the finished product is always less organized than the original.
20. I have 3 bonus daughters and 2 bonus grandsons that I wish I knew better and lived closer to.
21. You can't choose your family but if you could I would choose mine.
22. I love my pets too much. But they don't seem to mind.
23. I always give people one more chance than they deserve.
24. In spite of being spiritual I don't really care for any religion and think they too often defeat their purpose and that God/Allah/Zhu/Bhagavan/Yah
25. I'm about to embark on one of the biggest adventures of my life. I'm joining the IVF circus.